Thursday, January 22, 2009

Worry Wart

I am a perpetual worrier! I have this horrible ability to see into the future and foresee every horrible outcome of every action that my kids and husband are about to do.

When my kids are running around the house I don't see them having fun I see that in the next minute one of them is going to trip and fall onto something that will rip open their tiny little bodies requiring thousands of stitches to stop the bleeding.

When they are walking to the end of the driveway to catch the school bus I don't see happy little children going off to school to have a day full of socialization and learning. I see them not being able to stop sliding on the ice and going right under a passing car.

When they are on the playground I don't smile at seeing them experimenting with how they can twist their bodies and climb the highest on the jungle gym. I see them falling off and snapping their necks so they are paralyzed.

You get the picture. AND I have to say, I blame most of this on that old show Rescue 911. Just seeing the dangers a toothbrush can pose .......

It is even so bad that during a family therapy session each of the kids had to draw a picture of the whole family. They were to draw them as something but not a person. Ray was drawn by most of the kids as a bulldog (his nickname), Kimmy as a cat, Mikaela as a horse ..... EVERYONE of the kids drew me as a WART! A worry wart. I was so embarrassed but they were all 100% correct.

It gets worse. Now I am having panic attacks in the morning when the news talks about accidents along the route that Ray takes to work. Unfortunately he drives on two different highways that are notorious for accidents and fatal ones at that. This morning when I pulled up the web site for my favorite area newspaper the headline shouted of another fatal accident along his route. Of course my heart started racing and my stomach lurched. I quick texted him the all to familiar "OK???". Happily it was returned less then a minute later with a phone call "WHERE WAS THE ACCIDENT THIS MORNING?". I think he is getting annoyed and wants me to swear off reading the on line news until he gets home from work. I told him I don't search out the traffic reports but most of the time they are right there on the headlines.

Anyway, I am a worry wart. Can't help it. I tell myself that it has kept my kids safe since I have the ability to foresee that what they are doing has potential hazards. My husband and my kids disagree. Ray thinks that kids need to get hurt (bumps and bruises) to learn for themselves what their limits are. WHY WHY WHY would a mother allow her kids to get hurt just to learn something? I protest!

So, the kids know when they are with mommy it is safe playtime and when they are with daddy, well, almost anything goes. I am no longer included in their playtime with dad and Ray says it is better that way. If I don't know what they are doing, I can't worry about it. Does this man not know me at all?

I have promised to be more relax about the kids playtime. We will see how that goes. So if you see a bunch of kids walking down the sidewalk covered in bruises, bandages and casts, they will be mine.

~Just Me

2 comments:

  1. I so enjoy reading your posts on being a parent, a mother to be exact. Since i have no human kids (just my yorkies) it is intereting to read your thoughts. Since i'm not a parent i can't relate to the worry part about your kids. Not sure how i'd be if i were one. I will just keep reading your posts. I am in awe of all mothers who do it all. Meaning...who wear many hats, ie: being a mom, a wife, a friend, a sister, a cousin, a neighbor, etc. How you all do it is beyond me. Big hugs, your sister sleepy :)

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  2. I understand your worry, as the mother of 4, now older children, I worried too, tho I find I worry more about my grandchildren than I did my own children, because at least I had some control when they were young and under my roof. I just take deep breaths to ward off anxiety attacks and say, "children have been living and growing for a very long time, they will be all right." When it's past our ability to have any control of the outcome (safty for our family members) we have to bow to a higher authority and my family is in my prayers daily.

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